Our Sweet Matthew

Okay, so I’ve been really bad about blogging.  But, this post should explain it all.  Last Thursday I was feeding Matthew about noon.  He hadn’t eaten all morning and looked kind of pale, so I was determined to get him to eat.  After getting him to eat a little bit, I held him up to burp and he projectile-vomited. While I was cleaning that up, he stopped breathing.  It was the scariest thing I had ever seen in my life.  His lips and the area above his lips and around his eyes were blue and the rest of his face was sheet-white.  I stimulated his chest and, praise the Lord, he started breathing on his own.  Jean was here cleaning, so I asked her to stay with the other kids and I threw him in the front seat of the car and flew to the ER.  (Thankfully we’re really close.)  At the ER, they moved really slow at first.  I’m sure they probably thought I was a young mother who was just worried about nothing. At least, they thought that until they saw him stop breathing and turn blue.  After he did it twice in a row in a matter of minutes, the doctor said, “We need to move on this baby,” and they grabbed him and ran him across the ER into a trauma room.  The doctor told me that they were going to transfer him to a larger hospital and they started trying to find veins for an IV.  Poor thing, he has tiny “rolling” veins like me, so they couldn’t find a place.  A few minutes later someone told us the helicopter was there.  They came in and asked questions about his situation, they wheeled him out on a stretcher.  He looked so tiny on that huge thing.  It was an 8-minute flight to the hospital (versus a 30-minute drive).  It was awful seeing him cry the whole way because the helicopter was so loud.  When we got there, he already looked a little better.  (The crying was probably good for his breathing.)  They ended up putting an IV in his head because they couldn’t find a vein anywhere else.  After a couple of hours they moved him up to the PICU.  My parents had been with us all this time (except for that James and they had to drive to the hospital because only one person could fly) but they graciously went home to get the other kids from a friend who was watching them.  Mom called the Kings and they headed to our house to get Naaman.  In the PICU they started tons of tests, including 2 EEGs, an echocardiogram (sp?), and an ultrasound of his head.  While the doctor was examining him they found a heart murmur, but he didn’t feel like it was related to the apnea episodes.  He felt pretty sure that it was reflux.  (I know, I had a hard time believing it, too.)  He said that preemie babies often forget to breath when they vomit.  They close off their airway so that vomit doesn’t get into their lungs, but their brains aren’t developed enough to know that they need to open them to breath.  He put him on Zantac to see what happened.  That evening, I fed him at midnight.  (He was soooo hungry by now because they hadn’t wanted him to eat up to the point in case they had to intibate him.)  Secure in the fact that he was on monitors and had a nurse about 10 steps away, I went to sleep.  I woke up to 3 nurses in the room because he had stopped breathing again.  They put him on an additional medicine and he hasn’t had an episode since.  On Saturday he was discharged with an apnea monitor.  We went to a follow-up appointment on Monday morning and his pediatrician wants him to stay on the monitor for about a month.  She said in about a week we can try to wean him off of one of his meds and see how he does.  I cannot even begin to describe the kind of fear I was feeling.  I have never seen my husband cry like that.  I was so scared that I would have to go home and explain to my other children that Matthew was not with us anymore.  I felt so helpless, but Christian friends and family here and far away rallied together and prayed and the Lord was with us.  Our sweet baby is growing and healthy.  I am amazed at God’s goodness to us, that we have 5 beautiful, precious, healthy, happy children.  We pray that God would give us wisdom to parent them with His love and nurture and that He would use their lives to bring glory to His wonderful name.

“Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.” 2 Cor. 1:3-4

The new “us” and other news…

I’ve been wanting to post about our new life for awhile now, but it just never happens.  So, instead of trying to find a long period of time to do it, I’m going to leave this page pulled up and try to add a bit as I get time.  So, if it gets published half done or with gibberish, one of the kiddos probably got on here while I was otherwise occupied!  (Me, occupied, whatever with?)

First, we are now a family of 7!  Our little Matthew Scott joined us on October 26.  He weighed 6lb 12oz and was 18 and 3/4 inches long.  We had a c-section as planned at 37 weeks since I was preeclamptic and my blood pressure was slowly rising steadily.  Our hopes that he would not have to go to the NICU like Evan were dashed .  Probably due to the fact that I had tons of extra amniotic fluid and possibly because 10% of my placenta had stopped working (which we found out later), our little Matthew had trouble breathing.  He was on various breathing aparatuses (I don’t think that’s the correct plural spelling, but oh well) from Monday through Thursday afternoon.  Thursday morning, he was taken off of his ventilator at 3:30am, but stopped breathing at 5:30am and had to be bagged and have CPR to be revived.  This also had happened to Evan the day before he was supposed to come home, which caused him to have to stay in the NICU an extra week.  The nurses and doctors told me that this is often common when babies are taken off ventilators.  They get so used to the vents breathing for them that they forget to breath on their own.  Well, common or not, it’s terrifying to be told that your baby was blue and had to be revived.  I look at our five children and am amazed at what miracles they all are:  Gabi- born at 34 weeks; exposed to various drugs and alcohol constantly during her time in utero; born to a mother who spent time in jail and was sexually active with multiple men and exposed Gabi to multiple STDs (including Chlamydia, which she had to be treated for as a newborn.)  Sarah- born at 38 weeks; also exposed to various drugs and alcohol as well as STDs during her time in utero.  While her mother was pregnant, she was homeless and lived on various front porches.  Evan- born at 31 and a half weeks; exposed to my sick body, including high blood pressures and a liver that didn’t function correctly; stopped breathing and had to be revived.  Naaman- born at 38 weeks; in the NICU for 5 days for failure to transition; saved from an incredibly abusive home.  Matthew- well, you know his story now.  It just amazes me how good God has been to us to give us these 5 precious children to love, nurture, train, discipline, disciple, and call our own while we have them here on earth.  I hope that God will give us more children in the future.  However, if He chooses not to, then we are already more blessed than we could ever imagine.

As far as the other children, everyone is doing well.  I was so glad to be home after 3 long weeks away from my sweet family and they were happy to have me back.  The first day I was home Sarah kept saying, “Don’t leave me.”  I went outside to talk to a neighbor in the yard and Gabi started screaming and crying.  Now that I’ve been back a couple of weeks, they’re back to their normal selves.  No one has really had any baby jealousy, though Gabi has been wanting us to take her potty and Evan was a little clingy yesterday.  The Kings, who watched our Nafa for 2 and a half weeks, spoiled him insanely.  I’m glad he was so well taken care of, but he definitely had to get used to not getting everything he wants with the first whimper!  The other kiddos missed him and I think he’s glad to be back in this crazy house, too, though.

My health is good.  My blood pressures are being controlled with only half my medicine, which is great because the higher dose makes me so tired and “blah” feeling.  I’ve had some “baby blues” which I don’t remember with Evan, but maybe I had them and attributed the depression to him being in the NICU.  It’s not awful, I just get kind of weepy sometimes out of the blue.  Even with all the raging hormones and feeling tired from being up during the night with Matthew, I still feel so much better than I did toward the end of the pregnancy, and I’m so grateful for that.

James is doing well, though he’s tired too.  A newborn is always lots of work, but such a precious blessing!  We’re glad that he has 2 days off next week for Thanksgiving.  He and my dad built a lockable gate onto our front porch so I can take the kids out their to play and not worry about chasing Evan to the street or Nafa falling down the stairs.  It’s really dirty, though, with spider webs and grime so we probably won’t go out again ’til we can borrow a pressure washer and get it cleaned up.

We got another letter in the mail from our sweet angels.  It said that we would be receiving a key in the mail to a storage unit and that the unit would be filled with clothes, toys, and groceries.  We got the key last week and boy was that unit filled!  What an incredible blessing!  It even had brand-new matching outfits for the girls, which they love.   I also found out from our cleaning lady last week that we’ll get her for an additional 6 weeks, which I’m so grateful for!  I’m going to go through withdrawal when she stops coming!  If my angels are reading this, thank you so much.  We don’t even begin to know how to tell you what a blessing you have been during this time.

Well, I think that mostly catches us up on the basics.  I need to blow-dry my hair and put on deoderant before I forget!  (I’ve gone a couple days at a time forgetting to brush my teeth- gross, I know, but I’ll go to do it and get stopped along the way and forget what I was going to do!)  It may be awhile before I post again, though I’m trying to snap a couple of pictures a day to keep up with our life, so hopefully I’ll get to post those.  Have a good day!

So much to tell…

Wow, has it been a crazy few weeks.  There’s so much to tell- I’m going to try to keep it short, but still keep the important stuff in for my memories.  9 days ago, on October 10, I called the doctor to let him know that I had seen “spots.”  They had called me in the Thursday before to “talk” because my labs weren’t good and we had to decide what to do.  They let me go home on bedrest with a list of symptoms to look for (including seeing spots) and said they were only letting me go home because I was a “reliable patient.”  Lots of pressure, huh?  So, I was in the bath Saturday night and suddenly saw lots of floating specks of light all around my face and decided that I’d better tell them even though I felt fine otherwise.  They had me come into Labor and Delivery, where my blood pressure was high and my protein was plus 1 or 2, I can’t remember.  The doctor decided to admit me.  So, I’ve been here since then, with my labs orgininally getting worse, then getting better starting 2 days ago.  Go figure… the doctor said that’s pretty normal though.  Today I’m doing a 24-hour urine (I know you love these details) to check my protein.  One of the symptoms of preeclampsia is that protein spills from your liver into your urine.  My blood pressure has been steadily getting higher but is still controlled enough with medicine to not have to deliver.  The specialists did tell me last Monday that they aren’t going to let me try a VBAC because of the high blood pressure- I’m disappointed because of the recovery time but okay with it if it’s healthier for Matthew.  I’m getting excited about nursing and have my Lact-aid all washed and ready to go- the Lactation consultant here at the hospital isn’t very supportive of it, but there’s a really great night nurse named Wanda that is very encouraging, so I feel good about it working, even if it takes a few weeks to really get “good” at it.  I’m a little concerned because the doctors may put me on Magnesium Sulfate for 12-24 hours after the delivery to prevent seizures from the high blood pressure.  I was on it the night before Evan was born through delivery and it makes you feel like your body is burning up and just all yucky.  I’m mostly concerned because I want to be able to nurse right away (assuming Matthew doesn’t need to go to the NICU) and don’t want to feel any worse than I know I will after a normal c-section.  The wonderful thing is that there’s only a 1 in 10 chance that Matthew will be in the NICU if he’s delivered this week, and an almost 0 chance that he will be in the NICU if he’s delivered next Monday at 37 weeks.  Apparently, even if he had to go in this week, it would most likely only be for a day or 2, so he should still be able to come home with me to deliver.  I still want no NICU, but anything less than 6 weeks is a miracle to us!  The doctor said he was pleasantly surprised that I’ve made it this far and we are too.  To tell you the truth, around 31 weeks I was kind of prepared for a repeat of what happened with Evie.  God has been so good to care for my and little Matthew and we are so ready to meet him!  I love you all and am so grateful for your prayers, emails, calls, and visits.  Hopefully it won’t be long and we’ll have pictures of a precious little boy to show you!

Nicki’s Diapers :)

So, I need to write a quick post about Nicki’s Diapers because they’re having a free giveaway .  We ordered our other diapers from Greenmountaindiapers.com, but are going to order most things in the future from Nicki’s diapers.  The prices are the same, but Nicki’s has free shipping on diaper covers (which we need more of anyhow) and other items, plus free shipping on orders over $75.  (And I have to mention that we have a registry on there, you know, just in case…  it’s really kind of just a wishlist for us to keep track of what we need/want when we get the money, but still…)    Anyhow, they carry diapers and carriers and lots of other products, so check it out .  Have a good night!

An incredible gift…

I went back and forth about whether to share this or not.  I guess since I don’t know who is doing this for me.  I’m afraid to share it and not fully express the absolute gratefulness that I feel- how do you do something like this justice with words?  Anyhow, I finally decided I had to share because, as I’ve said before, this blog is for me:  it’s really my only record of our life right now, especially since I’m not great at getting out the camera and taking pictures and creating scrapbooks.  So, here goes…

Sunday night we went to the hospital to check on Matthew.  I had been having pain under my right ribs (in the liver area) and he had not been moving all day.  Of course, my bp was up, but nothing’s new with that.  My doctor (my favorite one, Dr. Ellis) thought that I should get Matthew checked out just to make sure.  He was, of course, fine.  I think I’m worse than a new mom because I know what can happen and it’s hard not to be fearful of that happening again.  Everyone says to trust the Lord, but I guess I trust more that He will be with us whatever happens, not that He will prevent bad things from happening.  I know I still need to find peace in Him and not worry, but that’s a little tougher to actually do!   I know, you’re thinking, so get on with the story…

So, when we got home around 9pm or so, there was a bucket sitting on our back stairs.  It was filled with cleaning supplies.  (My first “Kate” thought-because I’m a funny person, was “Oh, someone’s trying to tell me that I need to clean more often!)  However, there was also a note, and I’m going to type it out so that if I lose the hard copy, I’ll always have the words on here:

Dear McKinney Family,

You are a special family and God has laid on our hearts to do something special for you.  There is a lady named Jean.  She cleans houses for a living. She will be coming to your house on this Thursday, September 24th, at 9:00 and will clean for 4 hours.  She will continue to come to your house one time a week for at least the next 6 weeks.  If she tells us that she thinks she is making a difference for you, then she will come for 6 more weeks.  We have asked her not to give you our names, so please do not ask her. She will bring cleaning supplies with her and they will be safe for your young children. We hope you enjoy this gift of love. Thank you for blessing the lives of these children and for allowing us to bless you in return.

Love,

Friends in Christ

Yes, I cried.  Then I read the note to James.  Then I cried some more.  People who know me well know that I love a clean environment, but don’t particularly like to clean, though I’m getting a little better at being joyful because I know that God wants me to care for my family and home with joy.  Still, though, when I do try to clean, it’s almost impossible.  If I clean 1 room, the children wreck 2 more.  I wash 2 dishes, then have to stop to change a diaper, referee an argument, or fix a cup.  I’m not complaining, just explaining .  I love my “lots of kids,” but it does truly multiply the work, especially while they’re little and can’t help much.  This was such an incredible blessing- especially with my concern that we’ll call my parents in the middle of the night to come over if I’m in labor, and I would be embarassed for them to walk into a messy home.  (Do you think Matthew would cooperate and come on a Thursday afternoon or evening? )  I don’t know who did this for us.  I of course, have gone through the possibilities in my mind, but I’m not certain and I’m okay with that.  If I knew, I would want to repay them in some way, and I know I never could.  Jean came this morning and my home smells delightful!  My toilet is cleaner than it’s been since we moved here, and I can’t wait to take a bubble bath in that sparkling bathtub tonight!  (Yes, I’m going to be selfish and take one before the kids do!)  She didn’t get every room because this is such a large home, but she did way more than I expected or could have asked for.  My wood floors are dust-free and shiny and my kitchen sink glows.  Well, there you have it.  That’s the “gift” I’ve been kind of vague about.  Now you see why I had to sit down and write it all out- how it’s not something you can write one sentence about and be done.  James and I earnestly pray that one day God will give us the provision to be able to turn around and bless others in the way that He has used others to bless us in these tough years.  Thank you, Father, for laying this on Your people’s hearts.  I am so humbled that You love me so much, especially after I’ve fussed at James or complained because my own mess stresses me out!  (Oh, and readers, I don’t have time to spell-check today… sorry!)

They’re coming!

I just got an email from UPS saying that our order from Green Mountain Diapers is on it’s way and should be here Friday!  James and I got online last night and ordered enough for us to cloth diaper full time (we hope.)  It’s definitely not so much that we may never run out if someone is pooping a lot or has several “accidents” that sneak out of the diaper, but it’s enough that I can do laundry every other day instead of every day.  (Though I like doing it enough that I don’t mind doing it every day; it just isn’t practical on some days.)  Here’s what we ordered:

-One Thirsties Duowrap size 2 for the “big boys” (we already have 3 mediums that fit them well in the original Thirsties, so this will give us 2 each.  The wonderful thing about Thirsties is the the waterproof liner, or PUL, is on the inside as well as the outside, so you can wipe them or rinse them clean in between washes, which is better for their wear anyhow.)  We got a storm cloud as we already have 2 whites and an ocean blue.  I like white as far as how they look and show less under clothes, but they seem to look more dingy the closer they get to needing to be washed.  Some people can go a week before they wash their covers, but we can probably only go 2 or maybe 4 days because of the amount of children we have using the covers!

-Two Thirsties Duowrap size 1 for baby Matthew. (One is ocean blue and one is storm cloud- I also really like the meadow, and wish that they had the Duowrap in “butter” but they only have it in their original for now… maybe later?)

-A dozen indian prefolds in the x-large size.  (We have 2 dozen already in the large that fit the boys okay, but Evan really could use the x-large, and I think they would be better for Naaman at night.)

-2 dozen indian prefolds in small.  (We didn’t get newborn since they outgrow them so fast; we’re just going to make these work.)

-1 dozen preemie indian prefolds to use as “doublers” at night or if they need to be able to go a little longer.  This is what the lady on craigslist used and they’ve worked fine for us.  I’d be interested in trying an actual “soaker” later, but for now we’re going for what works as well as what is best financially.  We already have a dozen of these.

-2 more snappies (These are so great!  You use them instead of diaper pins and they’re so much faster and easier.  I feel better, too, that if the kids got a hold of one they wouldn’t get hurt like they could with a pin.)

-A Mommy’s Touch diaper pail liner in butter (you just put it in the wash with your diapers when you wash them… we’ve bought a trash can to use it on that has a foot pedal for hands-free/germs-free, but we’ll have to make sure it fits.)

I know that if you’ve looked at the website, you’re thinking, wow, that’s a lot of money!  And it is… but we spend a minimum of $70 a month on disposable diapers (not counting Matthew!) so we will pay ourselves back in no time and really start racking up the savings!

Well, for those of you who think cloth is crazy, this was probably a very boring post!  But for those of you who use them or who have ever thought of using them, I’m sure you understand my excitement!  I can’t wait to open that box and start washing them (you need to wash them several times before you use them to make them absorbent) and try them on my babies.  And won’t Matthew just look so cute with a bit bubble tushie? 

Last, then I really have to go:  I went to the doctor today and Matthew looked great.  He “waved” at me during the ultrasound and is growing so fast.  My bp is getting high, so they said I’ll probably have to increase my medicine in the next few weeks, but not yet.  I’m not looking forward to that b/c it already makes me kind of sleepy/groggy, but I don’t really have a choice.  I can’t believe that in less than 8 weeks we’ll have our new baby here!  And my sister told me she’ll be 17 weeks tomorrow- I didn’t realize she was that far along!  It’s just going to fast for both of us this time!  Oh, one more thing- my friend Rebecca told me about a website named Above Rubies (.org) that is basically encouragement for Christian women and mothers.  I was able to look at it a little last night and it looks wonderful.  I can’t vouch for all of it yet, but I would encourage you to take a look, too.  I think it’s just what I’ve been looking for in terms of some time for me and the Lord, without doing an overwhelming Bible study.  Anyhow, hope you all have a wonderful day!

It’s been awhile…

It’s been quite awhile since my last post… I have no excuse, only that I haven’t felt like writing as much as reading other people’s posts!  A lot has gone on; here are some of the highlights:

-Remember how we adopted Georgie the kitten a few months ago when she was thrown out of a truck in front of us on the highway?  Well, she’s doing great.  Very sweet and loving and a joy to the kids and James and I.  However, I guess we’re still foster parents at heart.  Earlier this week the kids and I were playing outside and who should happen to appear but a cute little grey striped kitten.  He was so skinny, but so loving.  He hopped right into Gabi’s arms, which thrilled her to no end.  (I think now he might be wishing he had hopped into somebody else’s arms!)  I of course had her put him down in case he had fleas or anything.  We left him outside until Daddy got home (though I did put out food and water for him- he was so skinny!).  And Daddy, who loves us so much, said he could be ours.  Well, let me tell you:  Georgie did not appreciate the brother!  She hissed at him and hid from him and one of them poopied on the floor several times in rebellion (I think Georgie…).  We went back and forth thinking, is this fair to Georgie?  We decided to give it a week or two and see if things would work out.  (Oh, I forgot to tell you- we named him Junior.)  Well you’ll never believe what I saw last night!  Georgie and Junior were both asleep in our red chair!  Almost the entire night!  The weren’t touching but they were literally inches apart… progress, I tell you!  There’s less hissing and more “dealing” with the change.  I’m hopeful that Georgie might actually come to, dare I say it, love Junior. 

-This past Thursday was the day, week-wise, that I gave birth to Evie.  I cannot tell you what a blessing it is that Matthew is still inside of me- growing big and strong.  All day long I felt like celebrating, then crying, then celebrating, then crying (you get the picture.)  Now we’re counting the days as they pass.  My sweet sister (Hi Whitney!) sent me an email yesterday saying, “Happy Ev plus 1 day!”  It was precious.  So, in honor of Whitney, today is Ev plus 2 day!  I have to say that I didn’t get nearly this big with Evan and I’m getting very tired.  It’s especially tough to get in and our of our Astro- by the time I get in to buckle the kids, then get in the driver’s side, I’m ready for a nap- especially if I’ve had several stops.  I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in I don’t know how long.  Either my legs hurt, my hips hurt, or- the worst- I itch all over (especially my legs.)  It’s so annoying!  The bad thing is that even if I don’t get a nap during the day, I still can’t sleep.  So I try to get a good nap, but Gabi hasn’t been particularly helpful this week.  I’m not complaining- I’m glad our baby boy is staying in there.  I’m just saying that it’s definitely harder than I thought.

-Ooh, this is what I’ve been really looking forward to telling you- James and I have made the decision to cloth diaper!  We’re going to use the same kind that my friend Rebecca (Hi Rebecca!) uses- Thirsties covers with prefolds.  We bought some brand-new ones off of craigslist for a great deal.  We’ve been using cloth since Thursday night (except last night b/c I had to wash them- we still have a lot more to get) and it’s really great.  I’ve changed several poopies and haven’t had any leaks.  (Though Naaman leaked out of his disposable last night, so he probably would have leaked out of cloth, too, but maybe not.)  I loved doing my first cloth diaper laundry last night- it really is the easiest laundry to do!  The covers we got on craigslist (we got 3 mediums) are just like Rebecca’s.  However, Thirsties has a new diaper (the Duo) that is 2-sizes- one for 0-9 months and one from 9 months to potty training.  We’re planning on ordering those for the rest (unless we find a good deal on barely-used originals) because they only cost a dollar more and the reviews are great so far.  We’ll end up saving a lot of money in the end, we think.  I still have so many questions, though, so Rebecca and I are going to try to talk this weekend so I can pick her brain .  I’m excited about hearing her voice since we’ve never met in person… maybe one day.  Oh, and today Daddy will get to try out cloth for the first time- I don’t know if he’s exactly “excited” but I know that he’s definitly positive about the whole idea.  3 or 4 months of the cost of cheap disposables will pay for most of what we need for all 3 of our boys- then we’ll get to use them for future babies!  And…. James just came to tell me that Gabi bit Junior’s ears, so I think I’d better get in there…. oh the stories I wish I had time to tell you of things she’s done this week…. 3 is definitely harder than 2…  hope you all have a great week!

Happy Anniversary to Us :)

Today is mine and James’ 3rd anniversary.  Three years ago today we were getting ready to be married in Gatlinburg, Tennessee at The Chapel in the Glen.  I always wondered who I would marry and what he would be like.  To tell you the truth, I had pretty much decided that I may be single for a long time right before we met, and I was okay with it.  Just a couple of months before I met my James, I had become a foster mommy.  I had a 13-month old, Brady, for 5 days.  Then, I got our Vanessa, another 13-month old who I/we would keep for the next 7 months.  One weekend that spring, I took Vanessa home (for Easter, I think) to go to church with my parents.  After church, we all went out to eat.  As we were eating, an acquaintance from high school and her boyfriend came in to eat, too.  We started chatting and I joked with Bobby, “So, do you have any friends?”  He went on to say that, yes, he did:  “James in Grad school.”  He asked if I wanted him to give James my phone number.  Well up until that point, it had been a joke.  But I thought, why not?  So he got my number and assured me that James would call me later that day.  James ended up calling me that night after he got home from church.  We spoke on the phone 2-4 hours each night that week.  The next Saturday, I took Vanessa home so my parents could babysit her and James picked me up for a double date with Bobby and Shamona.  He had a rose laying on the front seat of the car .  He was very quiet for the 30 minute drive to dinner.  (Which doesn’t surprise you if you know him .)  At dinner, I got eggplant parmesean and he got chicken parmesean.  I made a joke about how I was upset that I couldn’t smoke in the restaurant, and later found out that he really thought that I smoked and was so grossed out!  Ooops… Apparently it also bugged him that I took a bite of his chicken.  Anyhow, after dinner we went to see Poseidon (sp?) at the theater.  Now it was his turn to ruffle my feathers- he “joked” that my feet stunk.  So, I pretended like I was going to get up and leave.  Poor thing, he was scared that he had ruined everything.  But I stayed and we had a good time.  I knew at the end of that date that this was something incredible that was serious.  A week later he came to Greenville to take Vanessa and I on a picnic downtown.  When he got out of his car, I was nervously pushing Vanessa in her porch swing to keep my shaky hands busy.  He had gotten 2 bouquets of tulips, a tiny one for Vanessa and a bigger one for me.  I knew right then that he was the one, for sure.  We dated for 2 more weeks and he proposed.  Yes, I know… so fast.  But for us, having been a little older and not having wasted a lot of time dating other people, we knew exactly what we wanted in a mate.  We had both been praying before hand for our mates and felt like the Lord had dropped each other into our laps.  We were planning on getting married that December (about 6 months later.)  However, a couple of weeks later we decided that I should get another foster child because the need was so great.  When I got the call, James went with Vanessa and I to the hospital to pick up our little Gabi.  He chased Vanessa in the hallways while I filled out paperwork and learned about her medical needs.  Since we knew that we were meant to be, and that the chance of adopting Gabi was so great, we decided that we didn’t want to live an hour apart for the next 6 months.  How could James be Gabi’s daddy like that?  So we moved up our wedding to September 2nd.  We have never ever regretted that decision.  My James is such an incredibly Godly man.  He loves Christ, loves me, loves our children, and loves to serve others.  He is always, always quick to forgive and shows me servant-love all the time.  When I’m feeling sad or upset, I only need to have him near to feel protected.  He is my spiritual leader, my love, and my best friend.  I have no “need” for “girls’ nights out” or things like that- they’re nice, and I love my friends, but my precious husband is my favorite person to be with- I never tire of him.   I hope, with God’s grace, that I’ll love him a million times more than this in 3 years.  I pray that God would continue to mold me into the wife and friend that James needs me to be.  I love you so much, my James!  Happy Anniversary!!!

Adoption Agreements :)

Two and a half hours ago we sat down with Genny, our adoption caseworker, and signed our adoption agreement.  We had to read and initial a 16 page background summary, just in case knowing Sarah’s family background would change our minds.  Are they kidding?   Seriously, though, it was so sad.  We knew the basics, but these were the specifics.  Things like the fact that Sarah’s birth mom was most likely drug exposed in utero herself.  Things like the fact that she was in and out of foster care from the time she was a small child until she was emancipated as a rebellious teenager.  Things like the fact that her mother had her shoplift for her and sold herself for money.  Are we surprised that she had 3 children, and no longer has any of them in her custody?  Where was DSS?  Where were Christian neighbors?  She claims that she attends/attended a Baptist church- where were her brothers and sisters in Christ.  How could we possibly be angry at a mother who was only doing what she had learned?  How could we be upset with a woman who gave birth to this incredible little girl that we call our daughter?  These questions and more will never be answered.  However, we have been blessed to be given this precious gift to love and nurture and train up in the Lord.  Why would God choose us for this incredible task?  We are so unworthy- truly.  Despite the fact that their are other very sad/anxious/stressful things going on in the life of our family and our extended family right now, I don’t know that you could find a happier, more thankful set of parents tonight.  And to top it off, I read a friend for college’s blog tonight and he and his wife announced that they are adopting from Ethiopia in the months to come.  Oh that God would call others to take care of the orphans in distress!  To reiterate his comments, if you have an extra bed, then why not?  Just something to think about…    I’ll let you all know when we have a court date!

Protected: Pain…

This post is password protected. To view it please enter your password below:

Password: