Katie J's Journal

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I don’t understand… March 31, 2010

Filed under: Uncategorized — The McKinney Family @ 12:39 pm
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Why do some people find such joy in hurting other people? Why does it make them feel better about themselves to make others feel badly about what they look like or how much they weigh? I remember as a teenager (and probably more of a young middle school-aged one) finding some self-esteem in looking down at others, but I grew out of that a long time ago. By the Lord’s grace and mercy I have learned not to feel that way. When I see someone who is struggling with their weight I feel sad because I know how they feel and how hard it is. When I see someone with awful acne I sympathize because I, too, have struggled with that. When I see a mother having difficulties with her children in public I empathize because I, too, have those discouraging moments. I’m not saying that I’m perfect- I have many other sins that I deal with on a regular basis. I guess I just don’t understand why it makes these people feel good to hurt others. I’m trying to find my confidence in who God made me. Do I need to lose more baby weight? Yes, a lot, but it won’t happen overnight. All I can do is work on it day-by-day. Do I really need some new clothes that fit better and are more put-together looking? Yes, but that’s not something we can afford right now and, with the hopeful weight loss, I don’t want to invest in something that I pray will be too big in a few months.  Sorry for the rambling… my heart is just hurting this morning.

“Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” 1 Peter 3:3-4

I don’t think this verse means that God wants us to not care at all how we look. Many passages, including Proverbs 31 and The Song of Solomon, encourage us (especially as women) to find ways to beautify ourselves and our homes for the enjoyment of our husbands and families. But I do know that this is not where the Lord’s emphasis is. I pray that I can teach my children, especially my girls, that it is their inner beauty that is of great worth in God’s sight.

In other quick news, I begged James to let me get a book that I’ve been wanting for a long time. It’s called Homeschooling with a Meek and Quiet Spirit by Teri Maxwell. I’m not quite finished, but it has been such a blessing. (And it is most certainly not just for homeschooling moms!) It deals with frustration and anger, discipline and organization. Teri’s writing is always so Biblically-based- she includes scripture to back up everything that she says. I highly recommend it to mommies (or future mommies) who are dealing with anger and frustration when their children misbehave or when they just can’t get everything done that they need to get done in the day.

That’s it for today… remember to be gentle with the feelings of those you come into contact with today. We never know when our words (or ugly looks) might pierce someone’s heart, whether intentionally or not. (And if you have to start a sentence with “I don’t want to hurt your feelings, but…” then just stop right there.) Have a wonderful day.




4 Responses to “I don’t understand…”

  1. Michelle Says:

    I love you just the way you are!

  2. Whitney Says:

    Agghh… so sorry.
    I think the things that we (especially women) are sensitive about, we tend to be more sympathetic towards.
    Boo… sadly, I know exactly what the root of your angst is. 😦 Call me whenever your phone gets fixed, or when James gets home.
    I *heart* you just the way you are. 🙂

  3. ajournalforme Says:

    Thanks girls :). I love you both just the way you are, too. And, Whit, I think you’re right. It’s kind of like how it’s hard for me to sympathize with someone who is tired of people always telling them how skinny they are. Guess I need to see it from all sides, huh? Guess we’re all works-in-progress…

  4. Julie Says:

    Um, do I need to come after somebody and beat them??!! That old addage about sticks and stones is unfortunately untrue. I still remember hurtful words from many years ago. From the people that KNOW you and MATTER (not some random person), you are beautiful, inside and out!!

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